关于母亲节舞蹈《摇篮曲》的创作

这是我今年编舞课程的结课文章，同时也可以帮助总结一些我编舞创作过程中的困难和收获，同时也希望可以分享一些这支舞蹈里的一些思考和设计

About the piece

The reason I want to mention the description of the piece before everything else is that I believe that it will help better understand the motives behind some of the decisions and choices I made during the process that would later on be discussed in further detail in this paper. 

【资料图】

Different from all the other pieces I’ve created or danced in the past for certain performance and culture sharing purposes, this piece is made for my mom. The music of this piece is my all time favorite and it talks about stories and words I’ve been meaning to say to my mom. However, if I have to be honest, it is also a piece for myself. This is my way to expressing something that is so emotionally intense and personal that I can’t find words in both languages  I speak to accurately describe. 

Another thing that is special about the piece is the length of time of preparation. The time span that I’ve committed to creating the detail movements and music is concentrated in this one semester. However, the thought of making this piece started about 2-3 years ago when I first started dancing during the midst of pandemic. Therefore in my mind there is already a blueprint of what I’m hoping this piece would turned out to be. This had later on became both an advantage and a disadvantage during the creating process. 

One last thing about this piece is how emotionally intense it is. The topic and theme about this piece is not only personal, it is also something that I’m afraid to explore due to the underlying pain it brings. Being away from home for more than 2 years, I started to have new understanding of home and new level of homesick. I would also in details explore how I unwrapped the complex emotion and processed it into dancing. 

Music and Cast Selection

Music selection has always been the very first step of my creative process. Most of my choreographing inspiration are based on a song or a music. In my understanding, music carries emotions and stories. I’m often easily touched and relate to such emotion, yet most of the time I found it hard to express my version of such emotion using words or other art forms. Therefore when I want to tell a story or an opinion related to a song, dance had became one of the most efficient and accurate way of doing so. 

For example, this piece is called lullaby. The music is wrote and sang by my favorite singer Mao BuYi about his love for his mother.  The song contained both the warmth of the love of a mother, but there is also a sense of melancholy based on the background story of the singer. This music was composed by Mao BuYi after his mother had past away. Even though it is different from my background story in the dance, the feeling of missing the love of a mother and not being able to see her is the same.

My thought about this dance had always been a duet. More characters means that I was able to create a more complex relationship and story line on stage than what I’m able to accomplish through a solo piece. This is also the reason why I’ve been saving this piece for a chance that I can cast other dancers. During the primary round of selection on Open Dance Day, I’ve casted four person in total with the thought that maybe I can explore expressing the love for our mother from the perspective of four daughter. It is different from what I’m planning but I was willing to take the risk, also because I don’t know how to reject dancers who personally expressed their hope to work with me on the piece. However, due to schedule and availability issues it eventually came down to just me and Sophia remaining on the piece. It’s both sad news but also back to my original plan which also saved me time on the bigger structure of the dance.

When it comes to the parts in the dance, there are two characters in the story, the mother and the daughter. Like I’ve said in the introduction, this piece is about my love and longing towards my mom. Therefore the character that I’ve always wanted to take on and explore in this case is the daughter. When I communicated this to Sophia, she gladly took on the character of the mother. Right after explaining to her about the main theme of the piece, I played the song for Sophia in hope to hear her advise on the music selection. She also know the song 一荤一素, and agreed that this would be a good fit with what I’m trying to express.

However, there is an issue with the song at this point. The song by itself is too simple and short to accomplish the story line that I have in mind. I soon gained inspiration from the interlude of the music. The interlude for this song is a classic and well-known folk song in China, it is the lullaby that many mother had sang to their children before bedtime. The main melody of this song is also inspired and based off of this lullaby. Therefore I decided to add an A Capella version of this lullaby between the verses which serves the purpose of transition between two dance paragraph but also the transition of the story line. The first verse of the music is mainly about the childhood memory and the deep connection between the mother and the daughter. The second paragraph is more about the distance and separation of the two. After listening to at least 50 different version of the lullaby online, I was unsatisfied with what I find. That is when I reflected on what this piece is about, it’s not trying to represent the relationship between any mother and daughter. It is specifically about me and my mom, thus there is only one version that would be the most authentic and fitting for this dance. With almost no hesitation, I asked my mom for an audio recording of herself singing the lullaby.

At this point I felt ready to went into the choreographing of the dance moves with all the main music parts settled. But in the final production, I’ve also added special sound effects and my own singing to parts of the music for the completion of the story line. It is also a supplement for my decision of not using a projection in the final product. 

Notes about the Choreography

What I usually do when I’m choreographing a piece is a 3-time rule. Meaning that I’ll put the song on repeat and started improvising to the music non-stop for at least three repeats. The reasons behind that is about the time that the music had repeatedly played for three times I started to have a better understanding about the music. For example, where is the chords going to change, or where is the tone in the singer changing. With such anticipation of the music I’ll be able to make movements that are more inline with the music. The non-stop part of this excise is to get my body to a point that I am slightly tired but not exhausted. The reason behind this is to give the control of the movements back to my body and heart, instead of using my brain to think what would look good or fitting. Movements created under this method are more nature to what my body is capable and comfortable with. 

The repetition of the improvisation also allow me to see if there are clear reoccurrence of a certain movement at a specific point in the music. These reoccurring moves or segments of dance are the key points I want to remember to hit in the final choreograph. I use these key movements as bullet point when it comes to creating an outline for a presentation or essay. If the overall story arc of a piece is the bone structure of the dance, these key movements are main muscle groups in the dance.

There are a few of these key point in this dance. For example, the part where I’m laying on the floor and calling my mother who is sitting on the bench. The phone being our only connection when we’re not around each other is a very important concept and it is arranged to be in the place where the lyrics are talking about “when you hear this, please be assured that I’m doing fine.” Another key point is towards the end of the second chorus when I yawn and lean back and Sophia caught me and supported me. I purposefully designed that I will not look back like a trust fall, putting the responsibility of finding the location on stage for Sophia. This actually represent the trust of a daughter that no matter what happened if you fall your mother will always be there to catch you. Another key point is the ending where I’m lying on the bench/bed and the mother put a blanket on me. However, when I woke up she is already fading into the darkness of the background. This is to represent the times when I dreamt about my mother but realizing she is not around when I woke up. But it also expressed that the love of a mother is always around you even if she can’t be physically there for you. 

However, what I mentioned above is the way I prefer to choreograph, it might not be for everyone. It is my first time collaborating with another dancer on a piece. I tried to introduce my method to Sophia during the first two rehearsal by just playing the music over and over, hoping she’ll be able to just started adding movements to the piece. When someone is exploring a choreograph method for the first time, it is inevitable that there would be struggle and discomfort. Sophia had been extremely open-minded and patient with the method. However, it is just not how she is used to create movement. This is when I ran into the first issue during the process. My original motive was to give my partner as much creative freedom and decisive power of the dance as I would give to myself. But she can’t look into my brain and see what I’m aiming for in my blue print. Confusion and frustration over take the benefits of allowing too much freedom. The fact that I have a firm idea of what I want in the piece had also made it hard for me to be completely open-minded towards what my partner has to introduce. 

My solution in the end for this issue was to give Sophia a guideline that she can based on when it comes to choreographing. For both the first and second verse of the dance, I wanted the dance moves of the two character to be different in order to build their individual character and also help the audience understand their character. Yet the audience also need to understand the relationships and bond between the mother and the daughter, therefore the dance moves has to be connected. To better help Sophia find inspiration for movements, I started work on my character building and movements. Like I’ve expressed earlier, the main focus of this dance is to explore my feeling, so the story is also going to unravel from the daughter’s perspective. After we’ve settled on my movements, I started assisting Sophia work on movements that would show case a mother and build the relationship with the daughter. Seeing my character coming to live had given Sophia a good amount of inspiration for her movements and also paint the picture in my mind out for her to understand what I’m aiming for. 

This also helped me realized that because dance is a form of expression that I’ve used to avoid the issue of not knowing how to express with words. This also means that it is hard for me to explain to the artists I’m working with what I want. I realized that instead of saying for example “I want you to put your arms out on beat three”, it’s better to just demonstrate what it looks like. Because it might be different for every dancer what does “putting out an arm” might translate into. But at the same time I realized the diversity of dance are originated from he diversity of the artists. Each one of us have different stories and voices that we were build out of, thus the differences in our dance. I’ve also came to realized that it will be helpful for future time of working with a crew to know more phrases and terms that are shared among the dance artists that can help me better speak what I’m hoping to accomplish.

This fun experience working with Sophia had also given me an easy entry into the world of working with other individuals on a dance piece. I’ve also gone through the struggle between the expectation of my piece and the other artists’ autonomy. I’ve talked to friends, peers and my family asking for advise on how to handle this. I’ve soon came to realized that before talking to Sophia on any of the matters, I need to sit down and consult with myself on a few concepts. 

First I need to ask myself how am I defining this piece. Is it “my piece” or “our piece”? Due to the nature of the subject of this dance, I decided to insists on a few things about the bigger picture how the dance is getting carried out. I then expressed my concerns and thought about staying on the plan that I have in mind, and gladly Sophia is very on board with this. 

Next I asked myself, when we have different body habits and moves that we’re comfortable for a certain point in the dance, am I willing to step out of my comfort zone? When I see the small conflicts between my moves and Sophia’s body, I need to remind myself to be completely supportive and patient with the process. Because I know that if I were to asked to attempt the jumps and turns that Sophia was capable and comfortable with, I’ll experience just the same if not more struggles. I also remind myself, I wanted to tell this story, but I’m always open to how we tell it. I need to not just be patient with the process, I need to also trust the process. Trusts my dance artists and trust that dance itself is compatible and free. 

There are inevitable challenges when there are more people involved in the creative process of a dance piece, but even just the addition of one person means infinitely more possibilities and power in what I can change and do with the piece. There are multiple places in the piece where the design was accomplished because it’s in the form of a duet. 

The first concept that I’ve experiment with is the spaces on stage. I used three different type of use of space in the dance to express three different stage of relationship and situation between the daughter and the mother. 

In the first verse, the two characters are right next to each other within the distance of actual physical contact. This shown that at this part of the dance, the story is about the era when the mother and the daughter and still at one place. This is also a representation of the childhood when my mother was able to spend a lot of time with me. Back then we almost never went without seeing each other for more than a week. Using this close and inseparable space on stage, I was able to established the strong bond and connection that the two characters have. Only when this relationship was established, will the audience be able to form empathy with the emotions that the characters will experience when the separation happens later in the dance. 

During the first chorus and second verse plus chorus, the theme is all about the child being away from home and away from their mother. However, I’ve use two different type of space to express similar emotion under two different conditions. For example, during the first verse of the dance, the two dancers are on each side of the stage parallel to each other, yet maintaining a certain distance between them. This is to show the separation and distance of physical space in real life. At this point in the story, both characters are still holding the same role as the beginning of the dance, only they are on different side of the planet. This is to express my experience when I first left home to study abroad. Most of the movements in this chorus are the same for both characters, yet we are facing different direction on stage, making the movement mirror of each other. This not only created complexity visual-wise, it also shown that the two characters are experiencing time difference. One person’s day is another’s night. One person’s sun is another’s moon. The same moves also represented the connection and love that the two characters share regardless of the distance between them.

Starting from the second verse all the way to the end, the mother character are behind the daughter character for most part of the dance. Using the prop bench, I was able to have Sophia dancing directly behind me. This use of up stage and down stage is to shown that now the image of “mother” the audience are seeing are mostly in my mind. It is my memory of the image of my mother and my interpretation of what she meant for me. The part when she is behind me is to represent the fact that I’m continuing on the path in my life to places that she can’t go. As a mother most of them at one point in their life have to watch their children left and walk to somewhere far away. At this point in dance, the movements are slightly different but very similar for most part. This is to show that in my mind I trust that even thought not being next to me, my mother was able to understand all the things I’m experiencing and accomplishing in life. 

I really was able to experiment with some many new ideas and concepts that movements on stage was able to represent with the help of another artist. It’s like opening the door to a brand new world, and I owe every thank you to Sophia for agreeing to be part of this experience. 

What I’ve learnt

Being able to create, choreograph and conduct a show piece from sketch is truly a learning experience. As a dancer, I’ve learn how the same movements can flow differently through different body and how we are embodiment of our past experience and emotions. As a choreographer, I’ve learn how to work with with other artists’ body, their idea, their possibilities. As a producer, I’ve learn about how to make the music and lighting work for me and my piece, and becoming more confident to unwrap the full potential of the space I have access to whenever I need it. As a person, I’ve learn about how to understand my emotions. This process had given me a chance to untangle and refine the complex emotion of love and homesick that I’ve been experiencing for the past two years. This feels just like organizing the yarn I used to knit, you need to understand where’s the beginning of all this, where are the places that multiple sources of emotions are intertwine with each other, thus understanding why am I feeling what I’m feeling. I’m a psychology major students, which means I am more than familiar with using data, experiments and hypothesis to understand a human being and their behaviors/emotions. Yet through out this semester, dance had helped me understand myself more than I’ve ever did before. Which makes me rethink the role and power dancing holds in my life——it is beginning to becoming more than a form of exercise and performance art, it’s slowly becoming a device and tentacle I use to touch and feel both out around me and reach down within me. 

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